Ikea – Swedish for “Here’s a bike, sucker!”

The Ikea Bike of Death!

So this week, IKEA gave all 12,400 of its US based suckers…err… I mean employees a Bicycle as a year end bonus. What a great way for a company to give back to their hardworking employees. Or is it? Doesn’t this mean they now have to work even harder by cycling to work, then slogging through the 8 hour work day and ride home again? I suppose they have the option to still drive their car, but this gift might create a sense that employees will be expected to use this transportation or face being considered an outsider. Should I be expected to ride work and home now? Will they take away my parking spot and only put in tiny spots for the bikes?

Not to mention that in true IKEA style, some assembly was required! They  had to put on one wheel, the seat and the pedals. Man, that is exhausting. Suckers!

But what of the American mentality that suing for just about anything is a God given right? So the big guy who gets the bicycle who begins to ride to work via peer pressure keels over and has a massive coronary. Maybe he survives. Maybe not. One thing is for sure though,  his family will sue the pants of the company for forcing him to ride to work although his heart couldn’t take it. It’s clearly their fault for wanting him to be healthy.

“IKEA said it hopes the bikes will help employees by supporting a healthy lifestyle and providing “everyday sustainable transport.”” Translation: Ride to work, sucker. I’ll still drive my beamer..

Watch out Ikea! Promoting healthy lifestyles and your hippy “sustainable transport” idealist views to your employees could land you in a heap of lard! Just ask those who have applied but you probably refused to hire because they don’t “conform” to your image of good looks and simplicity at reasonable prices! Those angry ones might just jump on the bandwagon too! Now you’ve gone and done it. Massive lawsuits from overtired, overworked and possibly dead employees is what you have unleashed. Not to mention those employees who had counted on a regular bonus to assist in their holiday gift giving.  So how many of Ingvar Kamprad‘s billions will it take to make this go away? Yikes, now these bicycles have bankrupted the company. Where will I get my throw cushions and stackable shelves now?

Then again, maybe I’m just being a bit cynical. :) Good on ya IKEA.

3 thoughts on “Ikea – Swedish for “Here’s a bike, sucker!”

    1. Probably not since they had that commercial that showed the people hauling all that stuff with their small car. I don’t think that would appeal to someone like Don.

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